You didn’t tell me you died millions of times before becoming who you are. why did you leave the old you? Didn’t you like her or wasn’t she faithful? Don’t you need her anymore? Where is she? I want to meet her. How could you leave her alone. Don’t you know she doesn’t understand this dangerous inhuman world. she is still a tot. I want to find her, I want to breathe her all again. Does she still taste rawest? Does her heart still shatters over little things? Does she still fear dark? Does her love still taste like a neat whiskey? Does she still dance on  ding of her teardrops? why did you let her die? why?

You died, I saw,

 I was vulnerable, believe me,

I didn’t want you to die,

but I couldn’t have even saved you,

I’m sorry, so sorry,

It was heart rendering to see you dying,

believe me, I loved you more than I love my new self,

I know you died in pain,

you died with tears in your eyes,

you died when your heart was shattered in a million of pieces,

you died when blood was flowing out of your eyes,

when nobody was even concerned whether you’re alive

or died,

I know you have faced a painful death,

but trust me that was vital ,

to be who you’re today,

your death still haunts my mind,

it still haunts me when I see a sixteen year old girl crying,

when I see no stars at night,

I know you died , I know it was painful,

but your death has given this woman,

the ability to carry this pain with a smile,

you have blessed this girl with courage,

and a metal heart,

which still beats,

but this time to keep her alive ,

in a hope to meet you,

It’s 4 a.m in the morning, the time has come to say you goodbye,

sorry, I have to go,

aspirin has worked, my mind is commanding my body,

to sleep,

come let’s sleep together.

 

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